I am so much more hardcore than you

Got home. Barely bothered to change out of my work clothes. Hit the sofa for "a minute" (read: the next 5 hours). Got up off the sofa long enough to make a crappy dinner. Ended up only reading 2 pages of Harry Potter. Called my mother. Whinged about not having any effin' money. Turned on the telly, realised that CSI was on. Stayed on the phone with my mother and made snarky comments throughout the entire show. Drank an immitation Coke. Did the "all right, I'm going" thing on the phone with said mother for like 20 minutes. Finally got off the phone. Lay on the sofa for another 20 minutes. Finally decided to go to bed. But not before leaving a snarky message on my friend's answering machine.

Yes. Not only am I hardcore, but I'm the fuckin' Mother Teresa of my generation.
And don't you forget it.